By Karen Halabura
I came to Canada from Chile in May 1977. I was 5, almost 6 years old. Chile didnt have kindergarten and my brothers and I were put into school for the rest of the year which wasn’t much time. I don’t remember grade 1 except learning English then we moved to the south part of the city and went to school in that area. I have a twin brother and they put us together in grade 2. He was easily accepted everyone loved him and I started my journey of being teased and bullied I was called all sorts of names like ugly dog. I never understood what I did wrong and what my brother did right. I don’t remember much about my older brother in elementary. I had only one friend growing up that lived on our street; she was a couple of years younger than me and in the same position, no one liked her either. I hated playing with dolls and barbies. I would rather be playing with cars and trucks. I had health issues and was not allowed to play outside in the winter so I was introduced to the special needs room in grade 2. I found my home, I understood them and they accepted me, they didn’t care that no one liked me. I couldn’t understand why the special needs kids were misunderstood – I knew that they wanted to be accepted even though they were different like me.
When I was 13 I moved on from volunteering in the classroom to volunteering in an institution where many of the kids I played with lived. It hurt so much to see the kids there; they were left by their parents and some never saw their parents again. One of those kids was my best friend Stephen, he was smart but had cerebral palsy and was stuck in a wheelchair. He didnt know his mother. The same was for many of the kids there and it hurt to see that the kids were growing up with no one to love them and how they craved for the love and attention they deserved. They accepted you no matter what.
My journey with autism started when I was at one of the places I worked at; a really nice friend encouraged me to get a diagnosis for ADHD because I was just like her son who had ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD and learning disabilities after I had my first daughter.
I still felt like something else was wrong. I had my second daughter who was mildly delayed from birth. Her doctor and everyone else kept saying she would catch up, but I just knew something was going on. My daughter’s doctor finally agreed to send my daughter for testing when she was 18 months old and grabbed the leg of a woman. My daughter did not & still does not have stranger danger. When I read about autism I couldn’t understand how she fit in with autism when everything said she was supposed to hate to be touched but I kept on reading and joining autism groups. I found I was not the only parent of a child who seeked sensory information. I also learned about Aspergers. I fit almost everything but I couldn’t have aspergers because I was too social. I thought very literally – for example, before I got into computers I heard about computer viruses and I never understood how people were passing viruses to each other through a computer. It did not make sense that people were getting sick with computer viruses. Well I laughed when I learned and understood what a computer virus was. I grew up hearing about guerillas trying to fight against the war in Chile. I didnt understand what gorillas had to do with a war…well it was actually a name they gave a group of people who would fight against the current military and government.
I finally felt I fit in. I understood why I was able to understand those with special needs and was given the gift to help stand up for others. It felt so good knowing what was wrong with me and realizing that I was just a person who thought differently.
Thank you
Karen Halabura
As another Canadian, thanks for the support
And thank you for sharing your story and strength. We hope that the AWN will be able to open doors, not only in the US, but in Canada and in other countries as well.
(Also, according to the Community Living Centre in my city, Canada closed the last of its large-warehouse institutions in… I think 2006. If it’s true, I’m so proud of my country).
Thanks, I too hope that AWN will be able to open doors here in Canada and in other countries as well. We still have our instituition here in Manitoba its called St. Amant Centre
Wonderful Karen – thank you for sharing your story!
Like you, I interpret language literally. It has helped me develop a good sense of humor, but it has caused a few challenges along the way before I was diagnosed as well. It is extremely empowering to have the knowledge of what it means to be on the spectrum, and I appreciate the way you expressed that in your story. Thank you!
Thanks, I used to think I wasn’t smart thinking things unimaginable but now that I know why I think its funny
Thanks for sharing your story, Karen. You DO fit in with us here!
Thank you for sharing hon…it’s heartbreaking what kids have to go through
Glad you turned out to be the wonderful and caring woman and mom that you are today! 