Craig Walker, first and foremost, is the father of a Sensational Kid. He advocates for special needs children and is also the Information Technology Manager for the Yolo County District Attorney’s Office in Woodland, CA. Craig enjoys reading in his spare time. His favorite cartoon character is “Underdog”.
Raising a daughter as a single dad can be difficult. It is tough to provide for the soft, sensitive, social aspects that are so important to a little girl. It is even tougher when your daughter has problems with sensory processing and has spectrum-like qualities. My 12-year-old daughter Rissy is an inspiration, she is kind and compassionate, she is a “sunshine girl” at heart and has a beautiful smile. Sadly, she is lonely, especially at school.
I would like to relay one story that illustrates how much my daughter wants to fit in. Awhile back, Rissy got a last-minute invite to a roller-skating birthday party. She is not invited to many birthday parties because she is not very popular, so we were determined to make this one. And, she had never been roller-skating before. So, the night before I took her shopping for the present and then took her to the roller-skating rink to try it. Poor baby, she tried so hard, even though she was very scared. Her problems with balance/coordination and her lack of stability really freaked her out. She hit herself in the head and kept saying, “I hate my stupid body.” She was so upset that she was going to let her friend down. We worked through it and I told her that I would give anything to have a friend like her who would try so hard doing something scary — just for me.
Rissy has come so far, she has worked hard during several years of occupational therapy to enhance her gross and fine motor skills. She still has problems with balance and coordination at times but she taught her self how to jump rope and loves to dance. She graduated for a learning center recently and made the honor roll for the first time ever. She has overcome separation anxiety and terrible school phobia that caused her difficulty in getting into school. Her anxiety comes mainly from the feeling of not fitting in. She now goes into the classroom in the mornings on her own without help. She is simply a courageous and inspiring young lady.
In spite of all of my daughter’s accomplishments, she continues to struggle with acceptance from others — her peers and sadly, some of her teachers. Don’t get me wrong, we have received tremendous support from administrators and teachers at school. But, she struggles every day with isolation. She is doing everything possible to fit in — she completed an 8-week Equine Therapy Social Skills Class, a 6-week Social Skills Class that the school offered and she goes to counseling weekly. Her social skills have improved tremendously and she is fabulous with adults, especially adult women. Sadly, the perception of her by her peers and others has not changed – she is considered odd and clumsy and “out of sync” with the rest.
Rissy has one friend at school and that one friend has Autism. During a recent 504-Plan meeting we were discussing how to help Rissy gain more friends she told us, “I know some people may not like me because of my friend but I don’t care. I will always be her best friend and if they don’t like me because of that, oh well.” I had tears in my eyes when I heard her say this. She is such an amazing person. Rissy recently volunteered to help a 4-year-old boy with Autism in his social skills play therapy program. When I asked why she wanted to volunteer, she told me, “Dad, I understand him. I know what it feels like to not fit in. I can help him.” Amazing, huh?
Many Blessings!
Wouldn’t it be great if we lived in a world in which people tried to emulate Rissy’s compassion, tenacity, and loyalty to her friends? It’s sad to me that such truly wonderful people have to work so hard to “fit in” with peers when it’s the peers who could learn a thousand lessons from the ones who are different. Rissy is so lucky to have a wonderful and supportive dad like you. Blessings to you both!
Thank you so much for your sweet words Rachel. Many blessings to you as well… Craig
Very true Rachel – wouldn’t it be great!
Craig – thank you for sharing Rissy’s story. I can personally recall having similar experiences when I was Rissy’s age (especially with friendships.)
Big hugs to Rissy – what an amazing young woman your daughter is Craig!
I so sympathize and understand your trials, as I go through this also with my spectrum children. What is so amazing about our children, though, is the compassion they have. My children have taught me so much more than I will ever be able to teach them! Much love to you, Craig.
Beth and Sharon,
Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a great deal to me and to Rissy as well…. And, Sharon, I will be passing along the hugs for Rissy. She loves bear hugs and will appreciate knowing that you sent her some!
Many blessings and take care,
Craig
Wow.. Very Inspirational Craig.. You are obviously a great dad with a fantastic daughter …. and I understand this completely ……:-) Hello from Ireland………. You are not alone……. Maura&Jerry
Thanks so much Maura for your very sweet comment!
Many Blessings to you and yours,
Craig
Craig
I know exactly how your daughter feels I had no friends in school except 1 that was a few years younger than me we lived on the same street. I always wanted 2 fit in every new school year I hoped for a new child that would accept me only 2 end up being teased by lunch time I also hoped when a new child started school during the school year. I was bullyed & teased every single day I always volunteered with the special needs kids cuz they didnt care who I was they just were as happy 2 have a friend as I was. Please let ur daughter know Im thinking about her I would love 2 b her friend
Sending SmilesHugsAndLove
Karen
Thank you so much Karen for the wonderful and sweet comments. I will share them with Rissy and I know she will be comforted by your caring and support. Many sweet blessings to you always…
Craig
This story made me cry…how I wish life was easier for all of these little angels. Rissy sounds like she is just so smart and developing a social conscience already at such a young age
It’s wonderful to so clearly see how much her daddy loves her and how proud he is of her. Thank you so much for sharing this story…very touching!
Oh Tricia… thank you so very much… I am very proud of my angel and so glad that you found her story touching… Wishing you the best…
Craig
Craig–
Remind Rissy that it’s not about quantity of friends, but quality. Her time to shine will come. Mine did. I have a tremendous amount of friends now… too many at times it seems! LOL
But even during middle/high school, I cultivated friendships that last to this day. They accept that I’m not the best friend in the world as far as being the one to call, sometimes refusing to go to events, asking them to come to my home where I’m more comfortable rather than their house, etc. They still love me. She will find her quality friends, too. Keep on keepin’ on
Thanks so much Heather. I will share your wonderful advice with Rissy!
Many Blessings,
Craig