Melody Latimer is mother to two Autistic boys, ages 5 and 6. She runs the Dallas-Ft. Worth Chapter of the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN-DFW) which you can join at http://www.meetup.com/ASAN-DFW/. She also runs a website Autism Spectrum Parenting at http://www.asparenting.com, as well as moderates an adjoining email list at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/asparenting/.
When I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome two years ago, it came as little surprise to me. Both my boys had been diagnosed with Autism, and through my research, a lot struck home with me. I had been diagnosed with so many other things: General Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Social Phobia to name a few. While they described parts of me, they never described the whole me. During middle school and high school, the complete opposite was true. I didn’t understand that I was different. The things I could do, I just assumed everyone else could do. The things I experienced that weren’t normal, were normal to me, and I really believed everyone else had the same issues. The worst part was the abuse and bullying in my adolescent and young adult years. The mental abuse from my father who didn’t understand the way I thought. The bullying, from my sister, her friends and then my classmates in general, left me baffled, but being naïve, I allowed myself to be taken advantage of, over and over again. I’m able to undo the damage now that I understand what has happened to me, and because I understand who and what I am.
Thank you for sharing, Melody. Your story does resemble similarities to other women who have either had a history of misdiagnosis, not given an accurate diagnosis until adulthood, or both. In many cases, once they’ve received their ASD diagnosis, they feel closure, and they feel like they understand so much more about themselves. I’m sure it was a tremendous relief for you once you were finally able to understand who you were and where you came from. With time and increased awareness, I’m confident there will be a future where there will be less misdiagnoses, and more accurate diagnoses placed at a younger age.
You’ve hit the ball out the park! Incrdleibe!
Melody – so much of your story I can relate to with respect to being bullied. I was scared to go to school in Junior High, because the taunting & daily harassment was non-stop. Fortunately, high school ended up being a great experience.
You explained the concept of “normal” quite nicely! After all, who defines normal? Like you, my experiences are normal to me! Thank you for sharing your story with all of us today, as well as for the advocacy work you do in the autism community. It’s great to hear about the ASAN Chapter you established in Dallas, TX – awesome!
Thank you, Melody, for sharing that you were mistreated growing up. It is typically an “unspoken” topic. I was frequently beaten to force me to behave in ways my family wanted. Their efforts caused me to work very, very hard to appear normal – but with limited success. I’ve been hiding for decades in neurotypical costumes.
Your last sentence caught my attention. For years I’ve had therapy but haven’t been able to “undo the damage” – would you please share how you are achieving this?