Jessica Sergeant is a 31 year old living in Ontario with a Masters in Business Administration degree and is currently in the professional accounting certification program. She is passionate about travelling and visiting foreign countries. Since learning about her Asperger’s Syndrome, she is determined and on a mission to raise more awareness about this neurological condition and perhaps write a book about her experiences.
For 30 years, I have always felt different and felt that there was this invisible world surrounding me that I could not quite access.
I am profoundly Deaf and use American Sign Language to communicate. Even though the Deaf community has “included” me, I still felt “excluded” in certain aspects. Socialization seemed to be something that was an art that I have not mastered. There were invisible expectations that I was constantly struggling to meet. People seemed to know “their place” and I was trying to figure out “my place”. Too often I felt like I was the fish in a fishbowl – watching, but not really interacting. Desperate to know what was “different” about me, I asked several of my friends. They all had nothing more to say other than “You’re odd.” or “It is just you. Don’t worry. We accept you.” Armed with the knowledge that I was “different”, I did extensive research trying to pinpoint what it was about me that separated me from others. My search was fruitless and it was becoming hopeless.
It was not until “Lines in the Sand” via the TV series House, M.D. that provided her the answer she was seeking. At the end of the episode, Asperger’s Syndrome was introduced. Since she was unfamiliar with this condition, she researched it online. It was the beginning of her journey knowing that she is on the spectrum. The search for her “differentness” was completed and she came out more confident in knowing her place. A paradigm shift had occurred and she came to the realization that she was faking herself the entire time.
Jessica’s diagnosis of being on the spectrum explained why she had difficulties making new friends. People seemed to come and go in her life. Relationships were difficult to maintain and socialization was a minefield. The constant criticism of her social skills deficit was explained. Gone were the masks that she had put on in order to appear “normal”. Instead of focusing solely on hiding her deficits, she is focusing her energies on increasing her strengths.
I’m sorry if anyone thinks that it is wrong for a mere man to post on here, but I think that anyone who helps to raise awareness of Asperger’s, particularly in women, who are so often ignored is wonderful.
Jessica is an important member of our small community and has shown what an active and intelligent mind she has.
Dealing with two major disabilities is an impressive achievement, especially when one realises that they are both ‘invisible’.
An inspiring person and a great example to one and all.
How amazing! It’s really cool to get an inside look on one of our friends AND to have such a big honor bestowed to you! hehe
I’m looking up that House episode now. It’s nice to hear more from women since we have such different experiences usually. Well done Jess!
Asperger’s Syndrome may be getting the “bad rep” that AD/HD has been getting since the 90′s because of the recent surge of diagnosis’s occurring making it look “over-diagnosed”, but both disorders are 100% real neurobiological conditions that severely impact a human’s life (even with treatment and medication). I’ve interacted with Jessica on Facebook and when you read what she types you’ll quickly discover she is an intelligent, coherent, kind, capable, and zealous woman who shows no outward signs of being deaf or an “Aspie” through minor interactions on the internet. It isn’t until you read her detailed stories and experiences through her perspective that you’ll learn, because of her condition, she is indeed unable to reach her maximum potential because of her crippling deficiencies that she shares with millions of others with neurobiological conditions; each struggling to “find their place” in this “NeuroTypical” world (a world designed for people who have NO mental health or neurobiological conditions).
Reading this article makes me happy to know she is focusing on her strengths and not her weaknesses, because that is how the “real world” works anyways (despite what we are told as a child). We should always work towards what we are “good at” and stop waiting for what we are “bad at” to improve. When you have Asperger’s Syndrome, or even a relative disorder, there’s a reality that you have to accept; there’s a chance the “bad at” will never become the “good at”. This isn’t because of a “lack of will”, “lack of discipline”, or “lack of motivation” either; instead, it’s because of a psychological barrier placed in the way by the condition itself that makes it impossible to accomplish the task (even with medical and therapeutic intervention). What I just described is the difference of “won’t” and “can’t” which I’ll go into more detail.
“I won’t take out the trash” is a statement that shows defiance to do a responsibility and proves it was a conscious choice to deliberately not do said task. “I can’t take out the trash” is a statement that expresses a neurological paralysis that makes it impossible to do it because of a mental block that is preventing achieve-ability of doing the responsibility. No form of “encouragement” can force a person to do the task if they “cant”. And forcing someone to do the task will only cause them either an “anxiety attack” or a “meltdown” depending on their personality and their coping strategies developed.
The hardest part about having a neurobiological condition (whether it be Asperger’s Syndrome, AD/HD, Bipolar, Anxiety Disorders, or any other “invisible” condition is irrelevant) is we all share childhoods that are plagued with being bullied, taken advantage of, harshly disciplined, our self esteem destroyed, and other severely traumatic events. Forgetting about these past events/experiences is very difficult as we are often convinced they are pieces to a much larger puzzle to figure out what is “wrong with us”, so we get so focused on trying to figure out the past that it’s impossible to see what’s going on in the present. I speak from experience as I have AD/HD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder and it’s been a very difficult task forgetting my dark past so I can focus on the present and plan for the future. But again, reading this article makes me proud of Jessica as it sounds like she has the right attitude; not only that but she sounds like she is leaps and bounds ahead of me in embracing and accepting her condition.
It makes me proud to know I was an acquaintance of hers for a short while to see positive writings like this.
Jessica’s story touches me both as mother of a (now adult) deaf son who has aspie characteristics, and myself as an aspie.