I am asking any NT or an aspie who has dealt with this.  When is it or is it not acceptable to converse with someone by letter or email rather than face-to-face about a sensitive issue?  

I often have a very hard time putting my thoughts into words, especially when it comes to sensitive situations where I am not entirely sure how I feel about it yet.  If I need to tell someone something important or I want to let them know that they have been difficult or insulting, I can almost never properly communicate that face-to-face.  There have been a number of times that I have sat down and wrote a letter to the person.  Even if I never send the letter, it helps me to sort out my thoughts and gives me time to find the right words to express them.  However, I have never actually given a letter to someone because I did not know if they would find it insulting that I could not face them.  In the end, the person never hears what I need to say.

Right now, I am having some communication issues with my graduate school advisor.  He knows I have Asperger's but really does not understand what that means.  To spare you the details, he told me something in a private meeting that conflicts with things he has told me in the past and also left me feeling insulted.  I wrote a letter which I think very accurately explains how I interpreted what he said and how I feel about it.  I do not think I would ever be capable of explaining it face-to-face even though I have already written it down.  I don't know if it would be acceptable to send him the letter.  I feel like I need an NT to look it over and make sure I have dealt with the situation properly.

Carrie