Genisa

Sometimes we assume that NT's have their acts together so to speak - especially when they are on committees and the like. I have discovered in the past from serving on committees that sometimes if no information comes through the people are very disorganised and cant prioritise. They may not even give a thought to the people who lack information because they just continue bad habits that they have formed over the years.

Volunteer Boards often aren't run well and lack good structure (the structure we need). They tend to run on an ad hoc basis with people taking up task because it seems like the best thing at the time. People also get stuck in roles and they do things just because they've done them for years.

Honestly I would ask them if they have a 'position description' for a board member and find out what exactly they expect and what your responsibilities are. If they don't have that kind of structure or description available to you then I think that perhaps they are the kind of organisation that is not one that you can make a meaningful contribution to.

I have been in the same place as you and ended up resigning and finding another more well organised group that was more deserving of my time - the well run one's always have time for your contribution (if elected) as they are assured of their function and roles.

Hope this is helpful.

Katharine

I've tended to feel this way with respect to my extended family. Not so much professionally. In fact, I've tended to take on leadership roles, and I think I did this to avoid feeling quite so left out. Lately, I've invited my own family over to our place, which affords me a chance to interact as a host. This has gone a bit better for me.

For much of my life, I've felt a deep sadness, and it comes from a sense that my father, who sets the tone in our family, never formed an empathetic attachment to me. Although he believes he has AS himself, I believe that my own autistic mannerisms were repulsive to him. When I adopted a child who is more severely autistic than either of us are, my dad's reaction was "that sort of thing doesn't interest me." He said, "Unlike you, I don't collect strays." 

In his own way, he has been generous and helpful to us. And I don't for a moment take these gestures for granted. People love in the manner that they can, not necessarily in the way we would were we in their shoes. What we have lacked is a relaxed and trusting connection, and time and distance haven't improved matters any.