Pathological (delayed) Grieving
My Aspergian mother took her own life 30 years ago and it has only been in the last 5 years that I have been able to talk about it, it was so painful. I didn’t form any friend relationships for 20 years.
Since persons with Aspergers have such a hard time accessing and processing emotions, I’m wondering if others have had experiences with delayed grief. The grief manifests itself in unrecognizable ways like attempting suicide yourself, inability to form relationships, accidents. Pathological grieving is the technical term for this.
Have others had similar experiences with pathological grieving?
I wonder if that isn't what has gone on with me. Awhile back, several of our friends (which as an Aspie are hard for me to make!) left our church over something that someone else was telling them was done to them by the church administration. I personally thought they were dead wrong to just up and leave because of someone else's offense, but it was of course their decision. My husband and I didn't have any inclination to leave, and I'll be darned if I'm going to just blindly follow someone else, no matter who it is. So it was like I had too much to process, and I just sort of didn't. Several months later I realized I was dreading going to church and felt disconnected. At the time I had no clue why. Now I think it may have been because I never really grieved. It didn't get better for me until our Bible study group got it out of me what was going on inside me. I had a good cry and they all loved on me and I finally felt better. I am so glad to have this little group that doesn't bat an eyelash at my weirdness. Nothing like school at all, where I too was bullied something fierce.
That is so good you stuck with it . Good on you ! Leigh
You've really got me thinking, now. I know for sure that I experienced that when my grandmother died. It was a heartache that I just could not bear, especially being that she was the only family member that treated me like a person. It would be seven years before it even occurred to me that I had never gone to her gravesite and never accepted her death. I was just stuck in that pain and didn't even know it. I am now going to thing about whether there are other instances. Delayed reactions are common for me, even my allergies used to be delayed reactions, I was even a late bloomer, biologically.
I have dealt with pathological grieving and still do today. I was bullied for 10 years, and my father still bullies me sometimes.